Lessons From My First 6 Months Of Parenting
The first 6 months of being a parent often feels like “I thought I was going to die during childbirth” - “I can’t believe you’re mine!” - “what is sleep?” - “Was that a smile?” - “Okay, how are we going to do this?” - all at once.
Here are are some things I leant in my first 6 months and a few things I wish I’d known before hand!
Babies are resilient and easy to adapt.
You might be thinking “how do I make sure I keep this tiny human being keep alive and safe?” Well, after a couple of head bumps and a few passionate and rowdy hugs from her 2 years old brother, our baby girl taught us that babies have been purposefully designed and created to be strong and resilient. Of course I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be careful and protective towards your baby, but if they have older siblings, facilitate their bonding and relationship by letting them hold and cuddle the baby, teaching them to be gentle.
When we had our first baby, Leonardo, both my husband and I were studying worship music in college. That meant early call times, rehearsals, conferences, sitting in class with the baby in our lap, as well as bringing a few soft toys along and letting Leonardo play on the floor while we were taking notes. Surely our world had completely been transformed when Leo was born, nonetheless, we were committed to finishing what we had started, taking our baby along with us.
Yes, having a baby changes your life and your day-to-day routine. However, they adapt easily to the routine you establish. If your house is lively and not-so-quiet, your baby will get used to napping even with background noise going on, trust me!
Mums, your baby needs you more than your milk.
This is one of the best advice I have ever been given as a first-time mom. Breastfeeding hasn’t been easy for me. I started feeling like I wasn’t able to be a mother to my baby because of the struggles I was facing. If there is anything that is making you feel unqualified as a parent and affecting your mental wellbeing, just let go of that and find other solutions. That is not going to make you less of a mother.
Couples, your marriage still matters.
You might feel quite overwhelmed as a brand new family. Your baby takes a lot of energy and time out of you, but don’t forget that you are still married! The lack of sleep is guilty of putting your nerves on the edge, which can cause a bit of clash with your spouse.So, take a shower, value your spouse by glamming yourself up, put the baby down for a nap and spend some quality time with your spouse (whatever that looks life for you!).
Parents, be kind to yourself
You will make mistakes. You will feel tired and exhausted. You will feel like you are not enough and that you are doing it all wrong. In those moments remember that we are all learning to be better parents and it is a journey.
“God is all mercy and grace - not quick to anger, is rich in love. God is good to one and all; everything he does is suffused with grace.” Psalm 145:8-9 (MSG)
If God himself doesn’t condemn you, why should you? Have mercy on yourself. Tomorrow will be a better day!
Parents, ask for help.
Don’t feel any shame in asking for help. When family and friends volunteer to help you in some way, be specific saying what you need help with.
There is nothing wrong in seeking professional help if you are feeling overwhelmed. Your family is worth it! On the other hand, do not feel bad if your home is invaded by your extended family and you want some alone time with your brand new family and.
Parents, this season is not forever, you will sleep again!
Babies grow up way too fast. Cherish every moment but also be encouraged that the waking-up-every-hour is not going to last forever!
Gioia Di Costa
Worship Pastor, Home Church Italia