In This Together

They say that opposites attract! Well for Mark and i this is very true because we are completely different in so many ways. Mark drinks coffee and I drink tea; Mark likes red wine, I like white; Mark likes action films and thrillers but I prefer a good chick flick or a film based on a true story; he likes to play music very loud and very often and I like peace and quiet - the list goes on. Whilst there may be a few things that we disagree on like choosing a film on a Friday night, it can be challenging but we usually find a compromise and make things work so we both get what we want.

Over the years, like most other couples, there have been many necessary decisions made in our marriage and to be truthful, there have been instances where I have just let Mark make a decision and not involved myself, either because I wasn't really interested or worse, I didn't agree. This has been one of the biggest lessons for us and we have had to learn the hard way.

Spirit of Agreement

Amos 3:3 say’s “Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to do so?

This scripture has become instrumental in helping us navigate the more serious challenges in life, the ones that require wise and godly decisions.

What we have learnt is that unless we both agree on something then we must not act.

This has required us both to listen and discuss our thoughts and feelings about a situation. This process avoids the ‘blame game’ and requires that we both take responsibility for the decisions we make whatever the outcome. Some of the decisions we make in our marriages will have lasting impact not just on ourselves but also on our families and on our future so it is critical that we seek Godly wisdom together because we are in this together.

We can't leave it to the other person and then blame them when it doesn't work out. So whenever there is a key decision to be made, take time to discuss, process, seek godly wisdom from close friends and family and pray about it.

Unless there is a spirit of agreement, don't act.

Walking in agreement strengthens our marriages and helps us to face the future with confidence knowing that we stand together side by side instead of pulling in opposite directions. It also brings us closer together especially when it's a tough season that we know we just have to ride out. When we come out the other side we can celebrate together knowing that we did what we agreed we would do and honoured our commitment to one another...for better or for worse.

- Sam

Sam serves as Head of Pastoral Care at Home Church. She is married to Mark and together they have two children and two grandchildren.